Money and Marriage in Japan: How to Discuss Finances Before You Say “I Do”

Hello, I’m Naoko Matsumoto, an international marriage consultant at Traditional Japanese Matchmaker (TJM).

If you’re considering marrying a Japanese woman, there’s something important you need to prepare for—not just emotionally, but practically.

When you go from living alone to living as a couple, everything changes. And one of the biggest adjustments? Talking about money.

Many couples avoid financial discussions until after marriage, but love alone cannot solve financial misunderstandings. To build a healthy and lasting relationship, it’s essential to discuss how you’ll manage your household finances before the wedding.

Different Views on Money: Japan vs. Overseas

In Japan, it’s not uncommon for wives to manage the entire household budget and give their husbands a fixed monthly allowance—known as the “okozukai” system.

You may be surprised to learn this is still practiced today. In contrast, this approach is rare in most Western countries, where both partners typically discuss and manage finances together.
A Japanese celebrity entrepreneur, Takafumi Horie (“Horiemon”), once shared a story about his ex-wife suggesting an allowance system. His reaction—“The money I earn is mine”—is much closer to the way many foreign men think.

When Mr. Horie was married (he is now divorced), his then-wife told him she wanted to start the “okozukai” system.

The “okozukai” system is one where the wife manages the money earned by her husband, and he receives a monthly allowance from her. This system is still practiced today in some traditional Japanese households.

As a wealthy entrepreneur, Mr. Horie was surprised by his wife’s words.

What are your thoughts on how couples should manage their money after they get married?

Couples as a Team: Building Wealth Together

While overseas attitudes may differ, there is still one common principle: marriage is a partnership.

Decisions about finances—who manages the money, how expenses are divided—are ideally made together.
One international bestseller, Smart Couples Finish Rich, even suggests discussing finances right after your honeymoon. It outlines nine steps couples can take to manage money as a team, from handling the first bills that arrive at your new home to building long-term assets together.

How Couples Manage Finances Overseas

In many countries, it’s common for married couples to have joint bank accounts and shared credit cards. Generally, there are three main approaches to dividing expenses:
One partner covers all expenses

Expenses are split equally (50:50)

Expenses are divided based on income or strengths

While having one partner cover everything may sound appealing, it can lead to a lack of personal financial freedom. True financial partnership means finding a balance that works for both.

Why Men Should Start the Conversation

Japanese women rarely initiate financial discussions, especially before marriage.
That’s why it’s important for you to bring it up—ideally before making the decision to marry. Talk openly about who will handle which expenses, how accounts will be managed, and what financial goals you share.

If your partner avoids the topic altogether, it could indicate deeper issues. Even if she earns a high salary, it’s important to know about any debts, spending habits, or financial obligations.
The key is to build a relationship where money can be discussed calmly and respectfully—without it turning into an argument.

Handled well, this conversation will build trust and strengthen your future together.

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Naoko Matsumoto (まつもとなおこ）
FOUNDER&CEO
Traditional Japanese Matchmaker

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