A Real Story from One of Our Members

One of our female members recently shared her experience after meeting a gentleman for the first time in person:

“I felt some chemistry, but I was uncomfortable when he touched my body.”

“I have never experienced being touched by someone I just met for the first time.”

Although they had been communicating by email and video chat for several months, this was their very first in-person meeting. She wondered why he touched her hands and knees, and even held her shoulders so soon.

It’s important to note that she was not angry or upset—rather, it was simply something unfamiliar to her. For many Japanese women, this kind of body touch is still a new experience.

Cultural Differences in Body Language

This situation doesn’t mean the man did anything wrong. Instead, it highlights a clear cultural difference between Japan and Western countries.

Many Japanese women, especially those who have never lived abroad, often share similar feedback after their first meetings. In Japan, body touch between acquaintances is rare, while in the West, casual hugs, kisses on the cheek, or touches on the arm can be considered normal gestures of friendliness or attraction.

My Own Experience as a Japanese Woman Abroad

Having lived in the U.S. for over 20 years, I now understand the Western culture of body touch, hugging, and kissing. But when I first arrived, I also felt uncomfortable when men hugged me, even as a simple greeting.
I remember one time after getting married, my husband and I hosted a meetup event in Baltimore. A French guest kissed me on the cheek in front of my husband. Even though it was natural for him, I felt deeply embarrassed and guilty toward my husband. This shows how differently Japanese people may interpret physical touch compared to Westerners.

How Japanese Women Adapt Over Time

In my opinion, Japanese women who wish to marry a Western man and live abroad need time to adjust to these cultural differences. Younger generations in Japan are slowly becoming more open to Western habits like hugging and kissing in public. Still, for many, physical touch remains new and can feel overwhelming at first.
This is where you, as a caring partner, play an important role. With patience and open communication, you can help her gradually feel more comfortable with your cultural expressions of affection.

Practical Advice for Your First Meeting in Japan

If you are planning to visit Japan to meet a Japanese woman, please keep the following in mind:
She may react in an unexpected way if you touch her too soon.

This does not mean she dislikes you—it may simply be her cultural background.

The best approach is to discuss physical affection openly before you meet. Let her know what is natural in your culture, and give her time to process and adapt.

By showing respect, understanding, and patience, you can help her learn to embrace new ways of expressing closeness. This gentle adjustment process can strengthen your relationship and pave the way toward a happy marriage.

Ready to Meet a Japanese Woman Who Shares Your Dream of Marriage?

At Traditional Japanese Matchmaker (TJM), we support sincere, marriage-minded men who want to meet Japanese women and build a future together. Our members are committed to marriage and eager to create a lifelong partnership.

If you are ready to take the first step toward meeting your future Japanese wife, we invite you to schedule a free consultation.

Let us help you begin your journey toward a meaningful cross-cultural marriage.

Naoko Matsumoto (まつもとなおこ）
FOUNDER&CEO
Traditional Japanese Matchmaker

Traditional Japanese Matchmaker is the best dating and matchmaking service that is specialized for single international professionals and Japanese women established in 1999. Please click the link below to get started with TJM’s Free Registration if you are truly interested. We look forward to assisting you in finding your Japanese wife.

How We Work for You