“Why do you want to marry a Japanese woman?”

If you’re seriously considering marrying a Japanese woman right now, can you put your reason into words?

Hi, I’m Naoko Matsumoto, founder of Traditional Japanese Matchmaker.

I held an event in Los Angeles on Saturday, August 22nd, then drove straight to LAX that same night and caught a 1 a.m. flight to Tokyo. I landed at Haneda Monday morning.

And on Sunday, August 30th, I held a women’s workshop for our members in Shibuya, Tokyo.

A Women’s Workshop in Shibuya

Since I was already in Japan, I wanted to make the most of it. Sitting down with our female members in person is something I never take for granted. Even on short notice, women who are seriously pursuing international marriage showed up.

This time, I also invited a TJM male member based in Tokyo to join us for a “Plus One” session. He’s American, currently attending a Japanese language school on a long-term stay. He plans to keep studying through October 2027, and right now he’s about two months into his time in Japan.

About ten single women joined us, ranging from their early thirties to their fifties, all seriously considering marriage to a foreign man.

Our women’s workshops are exactly what they sound like: a space where members work through the walls they’re hitting in their search for a partner, and sharpen their communication skills, together with me as their matchmaker.

We talked through real struggles: friction with the man someone is currently seeing, how a divorced woman should approach her next search. None of these are easy topics to bring up casually. That’s exactly why I keep this a protected space, where women with the same goal can speak honestly and trade real solutions.

One woman’s struggle is often a struggle several others in the room recognize immediately. When they share their own experiences with each other, they end up finding their own answers, together.

A Guest Who Gave Us the Male Perspective

Our “Plus One” guest gave us something we rarely get: an honest, unfiltered male point of view.

What do men actually look for in a woman’s profile? What are they really thinking? He answered candidly, and the women had no shortage of questions for him. Getting the real, unfiltered male perspective in the room, rather than secondhand, made for a genuinely rich conversation.

As a side note, this particular gentleman, who clearly knows Japan well, was already familiar with honne and tatemae, the Japanese concept of one’s true feelings versus the face one shows in public. That’s a topic worth its own post sometime.

Why Japanese Women, Specifically?

One exchange from that day has stayed with me.

One of the women in the room hoped to marry a European man. But “European” isn’t really one thing. The EU alone has 27 member states as of September 2026, and each one carries its own culture and language.

So I asked her: “If a British, French, Italian, Spanish, and German man were standing in front of you, could you tell the difference in their national character and general presence, beyond just the language?”

She answered without hesitation: yes. Each country carries different values, a different atmosphere entirely.

The same question works in reverse.

Among the men who come to TJM hoping to marry a Japanese woman, some are simply drawn to “Asian women” in a general sense. To them, Japan is just one part of Asia, not meaningfully distinct from China, Korea, Thailand, Vietnam, or Indonesia.

But most of our male members who specifically say “I want to marry a Japanese woman” love Japan itself. They’re drawn to its culture, its values, and the way Japanese women carry themselves, for clear, specific reasons.

That distinction matters enormously to us. A man who’s vaguely drawn to “Asian women” and a man who can name exactly what draws him to Japanese women specifically will understand their future marriage on entirely different levels.

I want to be clear: this isn’t about ranking or judging anyone. It’s simply that some people have a real, felt sense that meaningful differences exist, and that’s worth naming honestly.

Our female members understand this instinctively. It’s precisely why they’re looking for men with a clear, unwavering intention: I want to marry a Japanese woman. Not “someone Asian.” Her, specifically.

An Unexpected Reunion

On a different note: one woman at this workshop was someone who had flown all the way from Japan to attend our Los Angeles event the weekend before.

J spent about two weeks in Los Angeles studying English on her time off work, then flew home the following Tuesday. I never expected to run into her again in Shibuya, just one week after we’d met in LA. That day, she asked me for personal advice on how to keep building the connection with a man she’d matched with in Los Angeles.

An event is only ever the doorway. What happens after, how that connection is nurtured, is where I believe TJM really earns its keep.

J flew from Japan to attend our LA event, and then showed up again at our Tokyo workshop the following week. That tells you everything about how seriously she’s searching for a partner.

Gentlemen, if you find a woman like J, someone who shows up, twice, across two cities, in one week, you’re looking at someone who makes the path to marriage a genuinely smooth one.

Full Within Three Days of the Invite

We decided to hold this workshop just three days before it happened, and sent the invitation out immediately. Even so, we filled all ten spots, plus a waitlist of eleven more.

That kind of response, on that little notice, tells you something real about how seriously our female members are pursuing marriage.

If you’re serious about marrying a Japanese woman, TJM has women who match that seriousness, one for one. And I’ll keep showing up for every single member, however far I have to fly to do it.

If you have questions or doubts about pursuing marriage with a Japanese woman, please reach out directly. I’d love to talk with you.

With warmth,

Naoko Matsumoto (まつもとなおこ）
FOUNDER & CEO
Traditional Japanese Matchmaker

Traditional Japanese Matchmaker is the best dating and matchmaking service that is specialized for single international professionals and Japanese women established in 1999. Please click the link below to get started with TJM’s Free Registration if you are truly interested. We look forward to assisting you in finding your Japanese wife.

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