At the international marriage agency TJM, there has been an increase in opportunities for male members from overseas to come and meet women during the year-end holiday season.

It’s a very joyful and fulfilling time for us to set up dramatic scenes where men and women meet face-to-face.

Who will you have a matchmaking meeting with? Leave that to us matchmakers. And where to set up the first meeting? This moment is also when the woman gets her first impression of you, so please make sure to put some thought into it.

Here are Essential Tips for Your First Date in Japan:

First Date Location:
Usually, we set up the first meeting for your date in the lobby of your hotel to make it convenient for you. If you are staying at an AirBnB or friend’s house, we will arrange a first meeting location that’s close by.

What to Do After You Meet Her?
What do you want to do for your first date with her: go to a restaurant or a cafe? Depending on the time of the date, you can start with having a coffee together, or if she seems hungry, you can also take her out for a meal. The important thing is for you to ask her, ‘Are you hungry?’ Japanese women seldom initiate a request for a meal, even if they are hungry.

If you end the first date with just a coffee without asking if she’s hungry, she may not want to have a second date with you because she didn’t feel cared for on the first date. The important thing is to show consideration for the woman and to ask her what she would like to do.

Reserve the Venue in Advance
If you meet her at a cafe or a restaurant outside of the hotel, Tokyo boasts a plethora of cafes and restaurants, offering ample choices for your meeting spot. However, if you’re unfamiliar with Tokyo, it’s a good idea
to seek her input in selecting the perfect meeting place. She likely has more insight into Tokyo’s hidden gems and best spots than you do.

Also, you and she need to make a reservation if it is a nice place. Weekends in Tokyo are especially crowded.

Choosing What to Order on a Date
Hamburgers, while popular in America, are not the best choice for a date meal. The reason is that they require women to open their mouths wide in front of a man they are meeting for the first time. Eating a hamburger gracefully can be challenging and may cause anxiety for women. It is advisable to choose dishes that can be eaten elegantly with chopsticks, spoons, forks, and knives. Opting for a meal that is too casual can wait until after you’ve gotten to know each other a bit more.

Date Meal Selection: The Ramen Edition
As an additional note, Americans might be excited to try authentic ramen in Japan, but it’s not recommended for a date. In New York, a bowl of ramen might be a luxury meal costing $30 (reaching over $40 with tax and tip), but in Japan, ramen is considered a quick, inexpensive snack. Suggesting ramen on a first date might make the woman feel that she is being underestimated or not taken seriously. While ramen is delicious, choosing a more special meal for a date shows thoughtfulness and consideration for your partner.

Noodle Etiquette for Dates in Japan
The sound made while eating noodles is another important consideration. In Japan, it’s common to audibly slurp noodles like ramen, udon, and soba. This is a cultural way of eating, and the “slurping” sound is inevitable. However, if you’re dining with her and hear this sound for the first time, you might feel disillusioned.

For this reason, choosing noodles for a date is not recommended. A quieter and more refined meal is better suited for dates, offering a more pleasant and comfortable dining experience.

What’s the Budget for a Meal Date?
For a coffee date, anticipate spending around $15 to $20 for two. For a dinner
date, a budget of approximately $40 to $60 for two people is suitable. There’s no custom of tipping in Japan, so you won’t need a surprisingly large budget. However, it’s important not to be overly frugal on dates.

Japanese women, while they might not verbalize it, pay close attention to how a man spends money on the first date. They observe whether he is reluctant to spend money on them. It’s an unspoken yet crucial aspect of how they gauge a potential partner’s generosity and attitude towards them.

Who is Going to Pay for the Meal?
This topic was covered in a previous blog post, so you can read about it by following this link. Please refer to it for more information.

Preparing for Your First Face-to-Face Date in Japan
Your first face-to-face date in Japan, coinciding with your visit, might be a moment of nervousness for both of you. However, before you arrive in Japan, we, as matchmakers, can provide you with advice, so please feel free to ask us anything at any time.
By strategizing in advance, you can ensure the best possible first date at an ideal location and achieve wonderful results.

We are always dedicated to supporting you and eagerly look forward to your visit to Japan.

Naoko Matsumoto
Founder & CEO
Traditional Japanese Matchmaker (TJM)

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