Many foreign men ask us:
“What do Japanese women look for in a husband?”
Here is the detailed answer to this common question.

Three Things Japanese Women Look for in a Foreign Husband

Have you ever wondered? “What do Japanese women look for in a husband?” Of course, kindness, honesty, and loyalty are the basics. These are non-negotiable qualities every woman wants in her partner. But when it comes to marrying a foreign man like you, Japanese women often have three specific expectations beyond those fundamentals.

Here’s what makes foreign men stand out – and why Japanese women choose them over Japanese men.

1. A Man Who Takes the Lead

In Japan, many men tend to avoid stating their opinions clearly. When asked where they want to go on a date, they often say, “Anywhere is fine,” which can be disappointing for women who want their man to take initiative.

Foreign men, on the other hand, often:
✔ Know what they want
✔ Show leadership in business and daily life
✔ Make decisions confidently

These traits are incredibly attractive to Japanese women.
Another big reason is the culture of chivalry (ladies first), which is not common in Japan. Small gestures matter:
Pulling out her chair at a café

Holding the door open

Gently guiding her into a car or train

These simple acts will make her feel like she’s dating a hero from a movie. In Japan, men usually rush into elevators first without thinking twice. So just by letting her go first, you will stand out as a true gentleman.

2. Financial Stability and Reliability

Even today (as of 2025), Japan remains a society where many believe that the husband should be the main provider for the family.
Yes, women work too. But when choosing a life partner, many Japanese women ask themselves:
“Will I feel secure with him?”

“Can we build a stable future together?”

Being a reliable breadwinner is an important factor in choosing a husband. Women want to know they can build a life with someone who can support the family with confidence.

Please also refer to this article about Financial Stability.
Why Do Japanese Women Consider a Man’s Income Before Marriage?

3. Good Looks (Cleanliness and Healthiness)

Just as men look for beauty in women, women also care about a man’s appearance.
But don’t worry – you don’t need to look like a movie star. What matters:
✔ Cleanliness and hygiene
✔ Wearing business-casual clothes that suit you
✔ Having a professional-quality profile photo
That’s more than enough to make a great first impression.
However, be aware of body type standards in Japan. People here generally have a slim build due to their healthy diets, so even if your weight is average in your country, Japanese women might see it as slightly overweight.
If you’re muscular, that’s absolutely fine.

But having a visible belly from pizza, burgers, or soda can be a minus.

The good news is, many foreign men become healthier and slimmer after marrying Japanese women because they adopt a Japanese diet, including foods like fish, vegetables, and miso soup. It’s one of the hidden benefits of marrying a Japanese woman!

Key Qualities That Make Japanese Women Choose a Foreign Husband

Here are the three key qualities Japanese women look for in a foreign husband:

1. A man who takes the lead
2. Financial stability and reliability
3. Cleanliness and a healthy appearance

If you keep these in mind, you’ll naturally become more attractive to Japanese women.

What’s Next?

In the next post, I will share how to present yourself as an ideal partner in your dating profile to attract Japanese women.
Stay tuned!

If you’re seriously considering marrying a Japanese woman, book a free consultation anytime.
We’re here to support you in finding the love and lifelong partner you’ve been looking for.
We look forward to helping you on your journey!

If you have any other questions, I would be more than happy to answer them. Your questions help others who may have similar thoughts, so please feel free to reach out anytime.

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Naoko Matsumoto (まつもとなおこ）
FOUNDER&CEO
Traditional Japanese Matchmaker

Traditional Japanese Matchmaker is the best dating and matchmaking service that is specialized for single international professionals and Japanese women established in 1999. Please click the link below to get started with TJM’s Free Registration if you are truly interested. We look forward to assisting you in finding your Japanese wife.

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